Okay sickidiots. You're walking down the market isle. Grab some DingDongs. Toss 'em in your shopping cart and "Continue Shopping." Down another isle (or click to another saying's page) you find the Coors. Four six-packs go into the Shopping Cart. You click "Continue Shopping" again and ....
If you want to know how much stuff's in your shopping cart, instead of staring down at it, you click the link in the upper right of each page where it says, duh, "View Cart." Well, this ain't rocket science ... you're just buying t-shirts, right? Your online Shopping Cart's where all of the items you want are stored until you go to the "Check Out" stand and buy them. In your Shopping Cart, you can remove items you no longer want to purchase (only if you've found a saying you like better!), change the quantity of the items to be purchased (BUY MORE, BUY MORE, BUY MORE), or empty the entire contents of the shopping cart (don't you dare or we'll hunt you down and tickle you to death.)
Once you're ready to purchase your products, click on "Check Out." That takes you to the secure pages -- see the little padlock in your "Start" bar? That means you're on a secure server. You can also always tell if you're on a secure page by looking in your Internet Browser's address bar. If the address of the page you are at begins with https:// (note the s ... for secure) then you're safe!
So ... you're safe. You've rolled that condom on and you're ... ah, wrong story. Sorry! What you're really doing is buying wonderfully sick sickidiots shirts. First we need your billing/shipping address -- exactly as it appears on your statement or the computer's likely to reject you. This is all automated by our bank so we don't control it. The next page calculates your shipping charges based on your address. You can stop ordering at any time along here but please don't. Think how rejected your poor shirts will feel if you drop them at the alter like that.
Remember that once you select "Check Out" your personal information is totally safe as it passes through our secure Web Server for processing. We use Card Services International, one of the world's biggest and safest credit card processing services. We are sickidiots but hey, we value our security and privacy too! We're for sure gonna protect other sickidiots. We do not keep your credit card data on our servers at any time! It goes through our secure cart to Card Services who process it with your bank and then deposit it in ours. That's it!
After you purchase your sick T-shirts you can go back and shop more, or you can grab another beer and crank up the music until your neighbor's ears bleed.
How to use the shopping cart -- the sickidiots' Version